EQUIPES VIRTUELLES
EQUIPES VIRTUELLES
- Rappelez-vous que 50% des gens que
vous connaissez sont en dessous de la moyenne
et que
- Rien
n’est trop dingue pour un vrai cinglé
LOI DE MURPHY
APPLIQUEE A LA GESTION DE PROJET
La nécessité d'introduire des modifications importantes dans un projet augmente au fur et à mesure que le projet approche de sa phase finale
LOI DE MURPHY
APPLIQUEE A L'INFORMATIQUE
Une application pleinement
satisfaisante doit toujours être upgradée
Quand un logiciel est inutile, il faut une formation.
Tout programme, s'il fonctionne, est obsolète.
Tout autre programme coûte plus cher et prend plus de temps
AVOCATS
La meilleure histoire d'avocat de l'année
Un avocat de la ville de Charlotte (Caroline du Nord)
avait acheté une boîte de 24 cigares très rares et très chers et les avait ensuite
assurés contre le feu entre autres.
Dans le mois qui suivit, ayant consommé son entière
réserve de cigares et n'ayant pas encore effectué le premier paiement de sa police
d'assurance, l'avocat envoya une réclamation à sa compagnie d'assurance.
Dans sa réclamation, l'avocat indiqua que les cigares
avaient été perdus "dans une série de petits incendies ".
La compagnie d'assurance refusa de payer en citant la
raison évidente : que l'homme avait consommé les cigares de façon normale. L'avocat
intenta une poursuite... ET LA GAGNA! En délivrant son verdict le juge fut d'accord avec
la compagnie d'assurance que la réclamation était de nature tout à fait frivole. Le
juge indiqua cependant que l'avocat détenait une police de la compagnie qui garantissait
que les cigares étaient assurés et que ces derniers étaient absolument protégés
contre le feu sans définir ce qui constituait un incendie " acceptable ".
Le juge déclara donc la compagnie dans l'obligation de
rembourser l'avocat. Au lieu d'avoir à endurer des procédures d'appel longues et
coûteuses, la compagnie d'assurance accepta le jugement et paya donc 15 000 dollars à
l'avocat pour sa perte de ses précieux cigares dû aux regrettables
"incendies".
Une fois que l'avocat eut encaissé le chèque, la
compagnie d'assurance le fit arrêter pour 24 chefs d'accusation d'INCENDIES CRIMINELS!!!
Avec sa propre réclamation d'assurance ainsi que son témoignage du procès utilisés
contre lui, l'avocat fut accusé d'avoir volontairement incendié une propriété assurée
afin de toucher le montant d'assurance.
Il fut condamné à 24 mois de prison ainsi qu'à une
amende de 24 000 dollars
Ceci est une histoire vraie qui mérita la première place aux derniers Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
QUESTION DE POINT DE
VUE
La scène: un poulet au bord d'une
route. Il la traverse.
La question: Pourquoi le poulet a-t-il traversé la route ?
RENÉ DESCARTES : Pour aller de l'autre côté.
PLATON : Pour son bien. De l'autre côté est le Vrai.
ARISTOTE : C'est la nature du poulet de traverser les routes.
KARL MARX : C'était historiquement inévitable.
CAPITAINE JAMES T. KIRK : Pour aller là où aucun autre poulet n'était allé auparavant.
HIPPOCRATE : En raison d'un excès de sécrétion de son pancréas.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. : J'ai la vision d'un monde où tous les poulets seraient libres de
traverser la route sans avoir à justifier leur acte.
MOISE : Et Dieu descendit du paradis et Il dit au poulet : “ Tu dois traverser La
route”. Et le poulet traversa la route et Dieu vit que cela était bon.
RICHARD M. NIXON : Le poulet n'a pas traversé la route, je répète, le poulet n'a JAMAIS
traversé la route.
NICOLAS MACHIAVEL : L'événement important c'est que le poulet ait traversé la route.
Qui se fiche de savoir pourquoi ? La fin en soi de traverser la route justifie tout motif
quel qu'il soit.
SIGMUND FREUD : Le fait que vous vous préoccupiez du fait que le poulet ait traversé la
route révèle votre fort sentiment d'insécurité sexuelle latente.
BILL GATES : Nous venons justement de mettre au point le nouveau poulet “Office
2003”, qui ne se contentera pas seulement de traverser les routes, mais couvera aussi
des oeufs, classera vos dossiers importants, etc...
BOUDDHA : Poser cette question renie votre propre nature de poulet.
GALILEE : Et pourtant, il traverse.
UN COMMERCIAL D'IBM : Nous proposons
de construire une infrastructure technique permettant aux poulets de traverser les routes.
Un cluster de 5 serveurs massivement parallèles a tolérance de panne, relies par un
réseau FDDI, avec 10 To de disques RAID devrait suffire.. Coté logiciel, il faudra
approvisionner une centaine de licences DB2, Netview et Visual Age, car ces produits sont
en totale adéquation aux besoins de traverser des routes, moyennant une prestation
d'adaptation mineure de 25 années hommes(tarif : 8000F HT /jour).
ERIC CANTONA : Le poulet, il est libre le poulet. Les routes, quand il veut il les
traverse.
CHARLES DE GAULLE : Le poulet a peut-être traversé la route, mais il n'a pas encore
traversé l'autoroute !
JACQUES CHIRAC : Parce que je n'ai
pas encore dissous la route.
L'EGLISE DE SCIENTOLOGIE : La raison est en vous, mais vous ne le savez pas encore.
Moyennant la modique somme de 10 000 F par séance, plus la location d'un détecteur de
mensonges, une analyse psychologique nous permettra de la découvrir.
BILL CLINTON : Je jure sur la Constitution qu'il ne s'est rien passé entre ce poulet et
moi.
EINSTEIN : Le fait que ce soit le poulet qui traverse la route ou que ce soit la route qui
se meuve sous le poulet dépend uniquement de votre référentiel.
ZEN : Le poulet peut vainement traverser la route, seul le Maître connaît le bruit de
son ombre derrière le mur.
JEAN-PIERRE RAFFARIN : Le poulet n'a pas encore traversé la route, mais le gouvernement y
travaille.
JEAN ALESI : Je ne comprends pas, théoriquement, le poulet il avait le temps de passer.
NELSON MONTFORT : J'ai à côté de moi l'extraordinaire poulet qui a réussi le
formidable exploit de traverser cette superbe route: “ Why did you cross the road ?
” " Cot cot !" “eh bien il dit qu'il est extrêmement fier d'avoir
réussi ce challenge, ce défi, cet exploit. C'était une traversée très dure, mais il
s'est accroché, et...”
RICHARD VIRENQUE : C'était pas un lapin ?
ORANGINA ROUGE : PASKEEEEEEUUUUUHHHH
KEN LE SURVIVANT : Peu importe, il ne le sait pas mais il est déjà mort.
JEAN-CLAUDE VANDAMME : Le poulet la road il la traverse parce qu'il sait qu'il la
traverse, tu vois la route c'est sa vie et sa mort, la route c'est Dieu c'est tout le
potentiel de sa vie, et moi Jean Claude Super Star quand je me couche dans Timecop quand
le truck arrive je pense à la poule et a Dieu et je fusionne avec tout le potentiel de la
life de la road ! Et ça c'est beau !
FOREST GUMP : COURS POULET COURS !!!
STALINE : le poulet devra être fusillé sur le champ, ainsi que tous les témoins de la
scène et 10 autres personnes prises au hasard, pour n'avoir pas empêché cet acte
subversif
GEORGE W. BUSH : Le fait que le poulet ait pu traverser cette route en toute impunité
malgré les résolutions de l'ONU représente un affront à la démocratie, à la
liberté, à la justice. Ceci prouve indubitablement que nous aurions dû déjà bombarder
cette route depuis longtemps. Dans le but d'assurer la paix dans cette région, et pour
éviter que les valeurs que nous défendons ne soient une fois de plus bafouées par ce
genre de terrorisme, le gouvernement des Etats-Unis d'Amérique a décidé d'envoyer 17
porte-avions, 46 destroyers 154 croiseurs, appuyés au sol par 243 000 G.I. et dans les
airs par 846 bombardiers, qui auront pour mission au nom de la liberté et de la
démocratie, d'éliminer toute trace de vie dans les poulaillers à 5000 km à la ronde,
puis de s'assurer par des tirs de missiles biens ciblés, que tout ce qui ressemble de
près ou de loin à un poulailler soit réduit à un tas de cendres et ne puisse plus
défier notre nation par son arrogance. Nous avons décidé qu'ensuite, ce pays sera
généreusement pris en charge par notre gouvernement, qui rebatira des poulaillers
suivant les normes de sécurité en vigueur, avec à leur tête, un coq démocratiquement
élu par l'ambassadeur des Etats Unis. En financement de ces reconstructions, nous nous
contenterons du contrôle total de la production céréalière de la région pendant 30
ans, sachant que les habitants locaux bénificieront d'un tarif préférentiel sur une
partie de cette production, en échange de leur totale coopération. Dans ce nouveau pays
de justice, de paix et de liberté, nous pouvons vous assurer que plus jamais un poulet ne
tentera de traverser une route, pour la simple bonne raison, qu'il n'y aura plus de
routes, et que les poulets n'aurons plus de pattes. Que Dieu bénisse l'Amérique.
CYBERSPACE ADVANTAGES
The phone rings at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational. A passing person answers, "We've got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed CEO swanks around in."
There was a stony silence for a second or two.
"Do you know who you are speaking to?"
"No," said the person.
"It is the so-called fat-arsed CEO you so insubordinately referred to."
"Well, do you know who you are talking to?"
"No," roared the CEO.
"Well thank goodness for that," said the quick thinking person slamming the phone down.
LEADERSHIP
- If you start thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
- The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
- Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
- Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably much bigger than you think.
- "So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
STRATEGIC VISION
It doesn't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop digging'. A day without sunshine is . . . night Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory
KNOWLEDGE MANAGEMENT
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. He who laughs last thinks slowest. Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was. Always drink upstream from the herd.
BUSINESS
MODELS libraryimages/sage1.gifThe quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. Invoices travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
LEADING IN THE
FOG
COMMUNICATING
WITH STAKEHOLDERS
A SENSE OF
MISSION
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
SLOBODAN MILOSIVEK. I told it to go as it was of different ethnicity to Serbian chickens
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
GEORGE BUSH: There will be NO NEW chickens crossing roads. Read my lips NO NEW chickens.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your cheque book.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
CROSS
CULTURAL MANAGEMENT
A group of condemned men are offered a final wish before the firing squad. The Frenchman
wants to sing the Marseillaise - and is shot; the German a final meal of sauerkraut - and
is shot; The Belgian asks if he may make one last attempt to explain the European
principle of subsidiarity - at which point the Englishman asks if he could please be shot
before the Belgian
INFORMATION
STRATEGY
3 Biggest Software Lies:
- The program's fully tested and bugfree.
- We're working on the documentation.
- Of course we can modify it.
3 Biggest Computer Room Lies:
- As long as you remember to 'SAVE' your input, you'll never lose any
files.
- We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door.
- The new machine is on order.
1. Software engineering is like looking for a black cat in a dark room.
2. Systems engineering is like looking for a black cat in a dark room in which
there is no cat.
3. Knowledge engineering is like looking for a black cat in a dark room
where there is no cat and someone yells, "I got it!".
3 Biggest Hardware Lies:
- We always design for testability.
- It worked fine on the prototype board.
- That would be much easier to implement in software.
CORPORATE
VALUES images/comp2.gif
3 Biggest Large Company Lies:
- We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
- People are our greatest resource.
- We say 'let the marketplace decide'.
3 Biggest Small Company Lies:
- We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
- The boss is just one of the guys.
- Staying small is a conscious decision.
CUSTOMER
FOCUS
3 Biggest Marketing Lies:
- Immediate delivery?...No problem.
- We treat every customer as if they were our most important.
- We're going out to lunch to talk business.
MBA
3 Biggest Business School Professor's Lies:
- Someday this course will come in handy.
- These tests are more trouble for me than they are for you.
- This is the way they do it in industry.
LEADERSHIP
3 Biggest Executive Lies:
- Money...it's just a score card.
- If it were up to me, there'd be no assigned parking spaces.
- You have to twist my arm to get me to go on a business trip.
PHILOSOPHY
Images/comp4.gif
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow
is a mystery. And today?
Today is a gift. That's why we call it The Present."
'Twas the night before implementation and all through the house,
Not a program was working, not even a browse.
The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,
With Hopes that a miracle soon would be there.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of inquiries danced in their heads
When out in the machine room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but Super Programmer (with a six pack of beer).
His resume glowed with experience so rare,
He turned out great code with bit-usher flair.
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
On Update, on Add, on Inquiry, on Delete,
On Batch Jobs, on Closing, on Functions complete,
His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean. B From weekends and nights in front of
a screen.
A wink of his eye, and a twitch of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
Turning specs into code, and then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger upon the <enter> key,
He brought it all up and it worked perfectly.
The updates updated, the deletes, they deleted;
The inquires inquired and closing completed.
He tested each whistle, he tested each bell,
With nary an abend, all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded,
The clients' last changes were even included.
Yet the clients exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
It's just what we asked for but not what we want!
BENCHMARKING
Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands'
performance as a lover. The first woman says "My Husband works
as a marriage counsellor. He always buys me flowers and candy
before we make love. I like that."
The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He
likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like
that."
The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works
for Microsoft.
He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's
going to be when I get it."
PERFORMANCE
MANAGEMENT
So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a
sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight
without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet,
conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One
day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat,
shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the
bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a
kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and
scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose
with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the
freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird
kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very, very quiet. At
first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may
be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he
opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says,
"Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve
my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has
come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the
chicken do?"
ETHICS
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
potential-acquaintance-significant -other gave to me,
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.
ELEVEN pipers piping
(plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing
of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract
even though they will not be asked to play a note...)
TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products
from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen non human animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
incarceration,
(NOTE: after member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and
partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid
further animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has
been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
THREE deconstructionist poets,
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses
And a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
STRATEGY
AND PLANNING images/cat.gif
According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are
"unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male
repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their
Business. This information was included in an interesting, amusing
article titles "How Not to Rob a Bank," by Tim Clark, which appeared in
the 1987 edition of The Old Farmers Almanac.
Clark reported that in spite of the widespread use of surveillance cameras, 76 percent of
bank robbers use no disguise, 86 percent never study the bank before robbing it, and 95
percent make no long-range plans for concealing the loot. Thus, he offered this advice to
would-be bank robbers, along with examples of what can happen if the rules aren't
followed:
1. Pick the right bank. Clark advises that you don't follow the lead of the fellow in
Anaheim, Cal., who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no
money. On the other hand, you don't want to be too familiar with the bank. A California
robber ran into his mother while making his getaway. She turned him in.
2. Approach the right teller. Granted, Clark says, this is harder to plan. One teller in
Springfield, Mass., followed the hold-up man out of the bank and down the street until she
saw him go into a restaurant.
She hailed a passing police car, and the police picked him up. Another
teller was given a hold-up note by a robber, and her father, who was next in line,
wrestled the man to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.
3. Don't sign your demand note. Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena
issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh, on an envelope bearing the name and
address of another in Detroit, and in East Hartford, Coon., on the back of a withdrawal
slip giving the robber's signature and account number.
4. Beware of dangerous vegetables. A man in White Plains, N.Y., tried to hold up a bank
with a zucchini. The police captured him at his house, where he showed them his
"weapon."
5. Avoid being fussy. A robber in Panorama City, Cal., gave a teller a note saying,
"I have a gun. Give me all your twenties in this envelope." The teller said,
"All I've got is two twenties." The robber took them and left.
6. Don't advertise. A hold-up man thought that if he smeared mercury ointment on his face,
it would make him invisible to the cameras. Actually, it accentuated his features, giving
authorities a much clearer picture. Bank robbers in Minnesota and California tried to
create a diversion by throwing stolen money out of the windows of their cars. They
succeeded only in drawing attention to themselves.
7. Take right turns only. Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong
turn and ended up on the Homestead Air Force Base. They drove up to a military police
guardhouse and, thinking it was a tollbooth, offered the security men money.
8. Provide your own transportation. It is not clever to borrow the teller's car, which she
carefully described to police. This resulted in the most quickly solved bank robbery in
the history of Pittsfield, Mass.
9. Don't be too sensitive. In these days of exploding dye packs, stuffing the cash into
your pants can lead to embarrassing stains. Clark points out, not to mention severe burns
in sensitive places--as bandits in San Diego and Boston painfully discovered.
10. Consider another line of work. One nervous Newport, R.I., robber,
while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket, shot himself in the head
and died instantly. Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Mass.,
who, when the teller told him she had no money, fainted. He was still unconscious when the
police arrived.
TEAM
WORKING
NASA was interviewing applicants from a single company to be sent to Jupiter. Only one
could go, and he couldn't return to Earth.
The first applicant, from HR, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One
million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to Harvard."
The next applicant, from operations, was asked the same question. He asked for two million
dollars. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave
the other million for the advancement of medical research."
The last applicant was from marketing. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered
in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars." "Why so much more than
the others?" the interviewer asked. The marketeer replied, "If you give me $3
million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million,
and we'll send the guy from HR.
